Efficiency?

I got some strange phone calls today.

It starts with a call from the police station in Ashrafiya. Can I come to the station tomorrow to pay 100,000 pound, asks the man on the line. This almost make me laugh.

“100,000 pounds? Why would I want to pay you a 100,000 pounds?” I ask him.
“It is regarding a parking ticket you got in Ain el-Mreisse (neighborhood in Beirut),” he replies.
“A parking ticket?”
“Yes. A parking ticket. In Ain el Mreisse. On November 4, 2003.”
“When?!”
“Four-eleven-two thousand and three,” he says.

Is this serious? You bet I am going to that police station tomorrow. Can't wait.

Another weird call is from my bank. They want to sell me some kind of master card. I tell him that I am a bit busy, as I am standing in line at the Ministry of Work, but that I’ll come to the bank in person if I want one.

“Yes, and don’t forget to bring your husband,” the gentleman says.
“My what?”
“Your husband.”
“What do you need my husband for?”
“He has to stand guarantee for you.”
“You’re trying to sell me something and my husband has to stand guarantee for me? This is 2008, and you are asking me this!?”
He apologizes but grins at the same time; “This is Lebanon.”

This is so not going to happen. Sorry dude, but I don’t want your bank card anymore.