On Traffic Jams and AA's

The pictures in the post are serene and not in accordance with the contents of this post. You might choose to look at the pictures only.

I went skiing yesterday. I got stuck in a traffic jam. A jam is opposed to a traffic flow: Traffic phenomena are complex and nonlinear, depending on the interactions of a large number of vehicles. Due to the individual reactions of human drivers, vehicles do not interact simply following the laws of mechanics, but rather show phenomena of cluster formation and shock wave propagation, both forward and backward, depending on vehicle density in a given area.(source)

Did you know that there’s a field of science that involves itself with traffic jams? The problem, according to this diagram, is saturation (of cars, that is). This saturation is caused by 3 reasons (as displayed in this diagram): 1) butterfly effect, 2) invisible waves, and 3) tragedy of commons.

I think we should add a fourth reason, one particular applicable to the Lebanese situation; it’s called the AA (that stands for Asshole Alert).

Lovely skiing! The slopes were positively empty. Hana did her first red run (proud mom)

And it goes like this.

You are on a two-way road. A narrow road, at that. At one point in time, your lane slows down due to the fact that the beginning of the line has reached its end-point at a village (let’s use Feraya, for example) where everyone wants to embark. This, of course, will cause the entire line to slow down. Logic has it that eventually this line will dissipate, as everyone will find a parking spot.

Now in comes the AA factor. These are people that can see no further than their nose is long (which according to this source means that they are ‘narrow-minded; and lack understanding and perception’.

And since they cannot see further than the end of their nose, they most defenitely cannot see further than the bend in the road, and since there seems to be no clear reason for the line the stop on this particular stretch of road, than there must be no reason at all for them to stop.

It is as if we are just standing there in a line, admiring the landscape.

All that it takes then, in their futile little brains, is to drive past this line, and voila, problem solved.

A and his sister. (Ever since he's been buying his own clothes, his style has significantly changed. I kind of like it, even though it's not really mystyle)

This is not the case however, as any sane thinking person can predict.  

And so these AA's get out of the line, and proceed to drive past the line. Unfortunately, that lane is used by upcoming traffic. Oh surprise oh surprise, didn't see that one coming.



What happens, as a matter of fact, is that they block the way for upcoming traffic; people that are in fact emptying the village, which will allow our line to occupy the space of the departing cars. But since the departing cars can no longer depart, due to the actions of the AA, the line will subsequently not move anymore at all.  

They have Hollywood-like ambitions in this place

This, the AA’s, find very curious. Now why would there be upcoming traffic?

But no problem, they can just get back into their former line. Usually without any qualms, or so much as an ‘’excuse me”.

Now in Holland, we can be pretty narrow minded too, believe me. But what we would do, in a case like this, is to make that ‘former line’ absolutely inpenetratable for the offender, forcing him to have to drive backwards all the way to the very beginning of the line.

Empty slopes, sunny skies and crispy snow 

This would 1) greatly alleviate the stress is causes the people that actually do understand the reason for the traffic jam and display civilized behavior, and 2) it might help understand the AA that this particular behavior is non-social, and will not get him (or her), anywhere but to the end of the line (i.e. the beginning of the traffic jam.

I, in particular, can be a regular 'B' at that. I will not let anyone get back in front of me. I am willing to bend my fender for that (on my account, no problem) if I have to.

Alas, not in Lebanon. We’re too smooth, and let the asshole take our place. Now if it were only one AA, the line would eventually slowly budge, and you might reach your destination within humanly acceptable time. Unfortunately, the AA’s are abound! Especially fathers with children in their cars. Cars with legislative license plates. The mini-bus gypsy drivers.

At the end of the day, there was a boarders and skiers competition. Testosterone abound. It was fun to watch.

As a result, the AA’s are gratified in their actions, and are confirmed in their beliefs that we – the people in line – are just dumb suckers, and they are well above us. I have complained about this before; the majority of the Lebanese are meek like sheep. I don’t get this. An otherwise passionate people, can be so meek about getting pushed around be a couple of bozzos in SUV’s.



The lift from Cabane



The skiing was – by the way – fantastic. And when it gets to lining up in the ski lift, I just shove those AA’s aside with much verbal and physical ado. It embarrasses my son to no extent, one of the reasons why he is no longer skiing with me. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass. Because nobody shoves me around.