In Hamra

 To all those nay-sayers that argue the Daash won’t stand a chance in Lebanon as nobody supports this kind of life-style, even the sunni muslims, I tell you: you’d be surprised.

Even in Hamra, which is probably the most non-religion affiliated neighborhood in town, you’ve got them. New posters that have appeared on walls in Hamra  basically call for you to go halal (follow the muslim dietary rules) or otherwise get the hell out of here.

I, as an agnostic entity, interpret that as pretty insulting. This is my part of town, has been so for the past 24 years, and I will be darned if someone tells me what I can and cannot eat.

 

So Daash doesn’t stand a chance? Just wait till the barbarians are at your doorstep, and suddenly you will see their supporters crawling out of little holes and from under stones, plastic slippers and all.

 

'You get what you pray for,' and 'Go Halal or Go Home.'
 

 

 

  

I call on Ahraf Rifi, our Minister of Justice, for an investigation. He’s good at these things. That’s what his job description is these days: call for an investigation because one or other religious group is being insulted. That is if he’s not banning  pornographic sites. I am not sure under what law that move falls, but we’re no longer allowed to watch porn. Beheadings are okay, though. (Here's how to get around it, by the way)

 

These particular posters come from a club called ‘deen-over-dunya’, I am not sure who they are, cannot find them on the web.  The ‘Go Hallal or Go Home’ phrase comes from a muslim conference somewhere in Canada in 2011 (according to Google). It's getting closer to home, and they seem to feel the warmth of their fellow bearded brethren.

 

'Pray now and play later' (And may all the virgins in heaven be shriveled up old ladies)

 

So I will leave you with a more practical tip:  How to burn Islamic flags without upsetting muslims, now that we can still publish this kind of stuff without getting beheaded.