Thanks, But No Thanks

Poor Michel Sleiman; our ‘is-he-or-isn’t-he-going-to-be-president?’ When they first came up with his name, I had my doubts. Another military man? The last one created more problems than he solved. Besides, a military man has no business in a democracy.

Anyway, he was pretty much the man, it seemed.
I understood that the government parties didn’t quite trust him. Too much of a Damascus man, it seems. They reluctantly went ahead with the choice. Now I read that Damascus doesn’t trust him anymore either.

So maybe he was the right guy after all. Too late now, I guess.

But what an insult. You ask a man to be the candidate, and then you change your mind. ‘Well general, we wanted you to be president, but now we are not sure anymore. We still have to think about it. Do you mind waiting?’

His portraits were suddenly hanging all over town. His wife probably overhauled her entire wardrobe, making it fit for a ‘Mrs. President.’ Invited all her friends over for lunch and discussed in detail how she’d get them all on the bandwagon, and party circuit. He probably overhauled his car, rehearsed his inauguration speech in the bathroom time and time again. His kids were probably gloating over the immense amount of wasta this was going to involve. Never again having to wait in a government office in a line up with another 365 Lebanese and 27 copies of copies of copies in a brown envelope in your hand because you need to get a stamp and a signature so you can get a paper to prove that you . . . etc (you all know the routine. Do you feel the frustration?).

And then they let you wait. And wait. And wait some more.

How embarrassing.
There is another parliamentary session planned on February the 11th. It will be the 13th attempt to vote for a president.

If I were him, and they finally do ask me, I’d reply; “Well, I thought about it, but ah, no, I think have changed my mind. Sorry guys, thanks, but no thanks.”

But you know he won’t.