January 07, 2008

The Logic of It

To get a new residency permit, you need a valid work contract.
To get a valid work contract, you need a valid work permit.
To get a valid work permit, you need a valid residency permit.

You get the drift?

Now they all have to be in pristine condition, it seems.

The man at the Ministry of Work deemed the residency permit (that needed renewal) to be unclear. “It looks washed.”
He therefore did not give out the yellow paper needed at the General Security to start the paperwork for the new residency permit.
So back to the General Security, to get a stamp that indicates that they think the old residency permit is clear.
They do not do that kind of stuff at the Office of the General Security, so they will start an investigation, which would indicate – after two weeks – that the old residency permit needs to be replaced, and you get a new ‘old’ residency permit. And that one is definitely clear, as it is brand new. Expired, mind you, but brand new.
With this new ‘old and expired’ residency permit you can then go the Ministry of Work, where they will give the yellow paper, and with this yellow paper you go back to the Office of the General Security, where they will finally start the paperwork for the new residency permit.

I’ve tried to have them explain the logic to me.
“Logic? What logic?” said the first officer (I swear I am not making up his words)
They sent me to the lieutenant, who sent me to the captain who sent me to the colonel.

“She’s a woman, ya’ani,” the captain said politely. “Maybe she can explain it better to you.”
“Maybe we can relate better, is that what you’re saying?” I asked him.
He smiled.
The colonel did not.
She took one tired look at me, and said to the captain in Arabic: “What does she want? It’s almost one o’clock, I want to go home. You explain whatever it is that needs to be explained.”

And so we were all at a loss for words. (Get that fixer on the line again).

17 comments:

Riemer Brouwer said...

Heh, i love these stories!

Perhaps the problem is that you speak Arabic. I find it always best to just play the stupid foreigner (no problem for me!) and be as persistent as can be. Also, don't forget to start demanding to see their boss almost immediately at the sign of the first troubles.

Especially if you don't speak the language (or in your case, act like you don't), they get tired of you real soon and simply process the papers requested.

But the moment they find out you speak Arabic, is when they start to belittle you. Gone is the preferential treatment and they will treat you like one of their own.

Anonymous said...

Where's KG? Come on boy, give it to us.... Y.

Anonymous said...

Am waiting for KG myself. Come on KG, swing it!

Anonymous said...

K.G. WAS HERE !..BE AFRAID ! BE VERY AFRAID !




K.G.

Super Dude said...

I agree with Riemer. I am Lebanese but do not look like one, so when I visit I play dumb foreigner, I get served better, until my name gives me up :D

Anonymous said...

Sietske, why don't you try getting a Lebanese passport?

Daniël

Anonymous said...

uhh probably because she'd lose her dutch citizenship if she did. another reason to favor germany over the neitherlands...oh sorry i meant netherlands.

L.

Anonymous said...

It looks like there's a tiny struggle going on inside K.G.
What's your goal K.G.? Are you feeling threatened or insulted, maybe confused? Why?
Please look into peace in Lebanon instead of teasing a person that loves this beautiful country whit all its habits.
ENJOY WHAT YOU SEE INSIDE LEBANON AND START SMILING AGAIN!
I've been there.

Anonymous said...

Does K.G. stand for Khaled Al Gharib? Ktir *gharib* ismak if this is the case ya kalb!

With love from Thor

Tarek said...

I don't know why you didn't call the fixer in the first place!!!! You actually like the visits to the public sector offices in Lebanon?!?

Anonymous said...

K.G? I think that stands for Kol Gharra.

Anonymous said...

Sorry L., I did not know you know Sietske that well. BTW the rules for Dutch and German citizenship are the same as far as I know.

Daniël

Anonymous said...

For example..ppl trying to talk lebanese and not knowing how to proves stupidity...because no one does it unless hes or shes sure the words are right...and mean something...( kol gharra..kol means eat..and gharra means nothing basically..) if we need to get into grammar mistakes..that might mean an arial attack..which will b "GHARA" and if we wanted it to mean "SHIT" it would b "KHARA"..so lets say it meant shit..so that would mean that my name is KOL KHARA...what if my nickname was kol khara and i was using it on skarlsk's blog..so that means im telling her to eat shit in an indirect way..so she would b the one getting offended..

but sincerely im not that impolite and that illmannered to use such things on the web and especially on a blog...but i would love to say it to her face if we meet....and btw whoever that person really was proves to have a great intelligent way to respond to ppls words...just want to tell him/her one thing "I REALLY ADMIRE UR INTELLIGENCE !...PLEASE TEACH ME ARABIC SOMETIME !"

and finally..im gona use my full nickname so u weird ppl out there can quit ur dumbass ideas..and use ur brains for some intelligent sentence work..or for something useful at least...

PS: btw skarlsk ur volvo needs a tune up...get the new one..5 cylender engine..good gas economy for a big car.


Karl Günter (K.G.)

Anonymous said...

For crying out loud, K.G. Could you take the time to re-read or spell-check your ramblings?

Aww, did you do a crash course in MSN English and want to practice "ur" talent here in the comments section of this blog? Do you need a friend?

Grow up, or at least have something interesting to say (in a coherent manner.) Unqualified venom -- however--suits you well. Do you miss how important you felt being a gunman? Helping "your" people, yes? "Protecting" your community?

Haram inta.

Anonymous said...

peace love and happiness to allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, even K.G....

Anonymous said...

when he was a gunman? um we have no idea who did what during the war, but it's in the past, let's all try to move on or we'll all simply become memories like those who died before us.....

Anonymous said...

ghassan ghoussoub!