It has been raining in Beirut, and when it rains in Beirut, something miraculous happens: Cars multiply. I am not kidding! This is a phenomenon that I have observed on numerous occasions.
I have even formulated it into a scientific equation.
I have even formulated it into a scientific equation.
H²O x Beirut Cars = Beirut Cars³.
Okay, so I won’t be winning the Nobel Prize with this one, but I am telling you, it happens every time; the moment it starts raining in Beirut, suddenly the amount of cars that flock the roads increases significantly.
And indeed. As I got out of work, in the pouring rain, I got stuck at an intersection for a good half hour. I was in an excellent mood, and so was everyone around us in traffic, because the knot we had created was so absolutely ridiculous that it was funny. If they would have to put it into a scene for a movie, they couldn’t have done a better job. I mean, there was no way out of this one. People didn’t even attempt it anymore. The soldiers on the side of the road (who after an attempt quickly gave up trying to get us out of this mess) even climbed on their tank to get a better view of this incredible blockage. 
It reminded me of a rat king. A rat king is when several rats somehow get their tails intertwined, and can’t get out of the knot. And the harder they pull, the tighter they get stuck of course. That was the situation we were in. And when the people driving into this spaghetti noodle realized the mess they were getting into, and wanted to back up, they’d gotten blocked in the rear. Since people noticed the hopeless situation they were in, they even pushed a little further. I mean, if you’re going to get jammed, you might as well get jammed real tight.
We had a good time, calling out to the police man (who was in discussion with some people on the side) for help, chatting with the neighbors in the cars next to us, and taking pictures. After twenty minutes, the policeman got into motion, organized traffic a little, and slowly some movement came into the knot. Ten minutes later I was on my way home.
“Good?” asked the police man, as he walked by me. Yes, absolutely. Usually these situations annoy me to no extent, but this one was so bad, you might as well enjoy it. Yes, that was a good one!
It reminded me of a rat king. A rat king is when several rats somehow get their tails intertwined, and can’t get out of the knot. And the harder they pull, the tighter they get stuck of course. That was the situation we were in. And when the people driving into this spaghetti noodle realized the mess they were getting into, and wanted to back up, they’d gotten blocked in the rear. Since people noticed the hopeless situation they were in, they even pushed a little further. I mean, if you’re going to get jammed, you might as well get jammed real tight.We had a good time, calling out to the police man (who was in discussion with some people on the side) for help, chatting with the neighbors in the cars next to us, and taking pictures. After twenty minutes, the policeman got into motion, organized traffic a little, and slowly some movement came into the knot. Ten minutes later I was on my way home.“Good?” asked the police man, as he walked by me. Yes, absolutely. Usually these situations annoy me to no extent, but this one was so bad, you might as well enjoy it. Yes, that was a good one! Update:
Anonymous said...
We all knew you were bad at math, but this is getting ridiculous. If:--> H²O x Beirut Cars = Beirut Cars³ then--> H²O = Beirut Cars² and--> (Beirut Cars = H2O)^½and that would mean the growth rate of Beirut Cars would diminish with every drop of water you add. Now clearly from you article this is not the case. So I think it should be more something along the line of:--> Beirut Cars = ((H2O)^(³*RHF))*1/log(NP)with RHF being the rush hour factor and NP the number of policeman on the intersection.
We all knew you were bad at math, but this is getting ridiculous. If:--> H²O x Beirut Cars = Beirut Cars³ then--> H²O = Beirut Cars² and--> (Beirut Cars = H2O)^½and that would mean the growth rate of Beirut Cars would diminish with every drop of water you add. Now clearly from you article this is not the case. So I think it should be more something along the line of:--> Beirut Cars = ((H2O)^(³*RHF))*1/log(NP)with RHF being the rush hour factor and NP the number of policeman on the intersection.
4 comments:
And we are complaining when we have to wait in front of a Dutch traffic light for 3 times before we can go on!
Dimphy
This policeman must have practiced some Consensus to clear the traffic jam!
We all knew you were bad at math, but this is getting ridiculous. If:
--> H²O x Beirut Cars = Beirut Cars³ then
--> H²O = Beirut Cars² and
--> (Beirut Cars = H2O)^½
and that would mean the growth rate of Beirut Cars would diminish with every drop of water you add. Now clearly from you article this is not the case. So I think it should be more something along the line of:
--> Beirut Cars = ((H2O)^(³*RHF))*1/log(NP)
with RHF being the rush hour factor and NP the number of policeman on the intersection.
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