On Paperwork and the Corruption Perception Index

Corruption Perceptions Index
Lebanon features at number 63 on the CPI 2006 (Corruption Perceptions Index) list. I used to think that corruption was related to the dishonesty of a people. However, after a number of years in this country and numerous encounters with its bureaucracy I have come to the understanding that corruption is related to the way the government organizes its services.
People are not corrupt; the system requires corruption in order to make it work.

According to Transparency International, an international organization that devotes its time to combating corruption, we are doing worse than Egypt and Syria! It cannot get more pathetic than that. The CPI Score relates to perceptions of the degree of corruption as seen by business people and country analysts and ranges between 10 (highly clean) and 0 (highly corrupt). We got a 3.6. Out of 10.
Read again; 3.6 out of 10. That’s an F.

The Honest Dutch

Today I had to begin with the actual paperwork necessary to legalize our new housekeeper. "Why don't you let somebody do it for you," suggested hubbie. "This way you do not have to run like an idiot to all these offices. Saves you time and aggravation."

"Ah yes, but not money," said this stingy Dutch.

And off I went with a bundle of paperwork under my arm (Do I hear people laugh already?)

The Work
This morning I started out at 8:00:

Office 1: General Security offices
Fee: 1,500 Lebanese pounds for parking.
Message: Wrong office, it’s in the old building of the General Security.
Office 2: ‘Old’ General Security offices
Fee: 2,000 for parking
Message: She was placed on my name, but now I needed to go to the Ministry of Work to get her work permit organized.
Office 3: Ministry of Work
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: We cannot proceed with a work permit unless you have a paper from the public notary.
Office 4: Public Notary
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: We cannot proceed without a bank guarantee, two passport pictures of housekeeper, and a release paper from the general security that the former housekeeper has traveled.You need to go to the bank.
Office 5: Bank
Fee: 1,500 for parking + $1,000 for garantee.
Message: Here is your copy.
Office 6: Public Notary
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: Copy won’t do, we need the official bank guarantee. Go back to the bank.
Office 7: Bank
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: Cannot be done today, needs three days at least.
Office 8: Public Notary
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: We need it today, otherwise you have to pay the penalty of being late with submitting papers. Besides, we need to have the release papers of the former housekeeper from the General Security.
Office 9: Bank
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: Fine, we will do it, but you need to come back in one hour.
Office 10: General Security offices
Fee: 1,500 Lebanese pounds for parking.
Message: We cannot give you that release paper if you do not have a copy of her passport. (Housekeeper is now in Florida, USA. Call housekeeper and tell her to send a copy of her passport with exit visa stamp).
Office 11: Bank
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: Bank guarantee done, but they cannot find the one of the former housekeeper. “Are you sure it is with this bank?” I have to try my other bank.
Office 12: Other Bank
Fee: 2,000 for parking
Message: No record of a bank guarantee. ”Are you sure it is with this bank?” Great. $1000 has disappeared.
Office 13: Back to Public Notary
Fee: 1,500 for parking
Message: You need to go to to ministry of work and get her work permit done today. Is there anyone at the Ministry of Work that you ‘know’? (‘Know’ means ‘having wasta’ or connections.)

For those not familiar with 'wasta'; it is a Middle Eastern word. Wikipedia does not have an article on it yet. Anyone please volunteer? Read two bloggers on it. One in Dubai, another one in Jordan.

The Idiot

I must be the most ‘wasta’-less person in Lebanon. It was 2 o’clock, had been all over town, had visited 13 places, but the actual work had yet to begin.
By this time, I pretty much had had it. I was I dire need of some chill pills, and smoke was coming out of my ears. They must have seen these characteristics often, for they knew when to choose the moment and approach the helpless victim.

Because in comes a certain gentleman from an adjacent office suggesting that with a little extra, they could do all this for me, in no time at all, and I wouldn’t have to run like an idiot all over town. They have their professional idiots who do it for them. Of course these idiots are a lot smarter than I am, and they know whose hand to grease.

in Comes Corruption

I did not even ask his fee. I grabbed him by his lapels, and said “Deal,” faster than the speed of light. The fee turned out to be well worth it. Why did I not think of this before? And so I entered the cycle of corruption, and helped Lebanon (for the good of my own mental health) descend a notch lower on the CPI ladder.