Flash(er) Mode

I’m on the highway, driving from Jbeil (Byblos) back to Beirut on a late Sunday afternoon. My kids are with me, but crashed in various position, and out of sight. And so I drive in the right lane, until I notice there is a car on my left side. It stays exactly where I drive, window open, driver looking at me.

Yep, this is him! (I know, it might need some imagination)

It’s a bit odd, but I ignore him. He’s quite persistent though, making odd movements. I look at him. He’s got a silly smile on him. Now why is he looking at me like that? Why is he not passing me? He’s in the fast lane, isn't he?

And suddenly I get it. Fast lane, my ass! The guy is whacking off! Right in his car, on the highway doing 100 km an hour! Eeew, that’s sick. I’m in an SUV, he’s in a regular sedan, so I am higher that he is. Full vision, so to speak.

But I’ve always got a camera on me, and it’s right in my lap. So I pick it up and go ‘snap snap snap’. Luckily it’s in flash mode, for some added drama. And there he sits, on the highway, doing 100 km an hour, unbuttoned pants and in full flash mode, while this idiotic woman is taking PICTURES OF HIM!!!!!!

That's him! Disappointing? Wanted to see more?

Have you ever seem these car ads, where they show you acceleration capabilities of the car? 0 to 80 in 3 seconds? Well, it’s true. I saw it right before my own eyes. Had his crummy car allowed it, he’d have broken the speed of light. He took off! Man, did he take off!

I followed him a bit, just to scare him some more, but it got to the point where he was taking such risks overtaking other cars that I thought he was going to kill himself.
Boy, I sure got that guy. I think he thinks I shot his license plate as well. No such luck, too blurry. I bet he’s not sleeping well tonight. And so he shouldn’t: Flashing middle aged mothers on the highway! Tseh tseh tseh.

Unfortunately (although fortunately for him) the pictures did not come out great. Doesn’t matter. I’m sure somebody recognizes this car as the car of the son of the neighbors, that nice boy that helps old ladies cross the street. Well, then here is something you can ask him about next time you see him. First offer him a drink, and wait till he takes a sip before you ask him. For some added drama.

Boy, that was a good one, if I may say so myself. :)