Other Dangers in this Place

Now let’s discuss some other dangers in this place.

We’ve got a mountain house. It is supposed to provide peace and tranquility. Of course when you need it the most you cannot get there, because 1) street fighting has made the roads out of the neighborhood too dangerous to use or 2) fighting has moved from your neighborhood to – yep, you guessed that right – the neighborhood of your mountain house.

But never mind, I’m all for peace and tranquility. There is no phone or internet, which is wonderful, the mobile only works when you stand at a specific place on the balcony and hold your phone up high (which make normal conversations rather odd), and the TV works intermittently; only then when there is electricity. Which is about almost never.
So peace and tranquility it is up there.

Except for one thing. The spiders.

We’ve got some big suckers in this place, even down here in Beirut. I once thought I saw a toad on the road, while walking to my parked car, when it was in fact – upon closer inspection – a light brown colored tarantula. My first thought was to crush it, but I was wearing flimsy sandals, and the thing was so big, it could have easily wrapped his hairy legs around both sides of my slippers, so I decided against that.

A friend of mine once had a dark one in the bathroom. She annihilated the thing, together with most of the bathroom. The next morning, while picking up a hair band from the sink for her hair, she picked up a loose leg of the tarantula instead (‘looked just like a black hair band’), causing her week-long heart palpitations.

The mountain house that we once had, on the ground floor, was sold, because I refused to go up any longer. It was an ancient house, with vaulted ceilings, and those tarantulas were hanging right above the bed. I can handle RPG’s, Israeli bombings and guerilla warfare in my street, but I will not handle tarantulas above my bed.

The new mountain house is on the third floor, and, as the real estate dealer promised; no tarantulas.
And indeed. No tarantulas.

But last weekend, after a five month absence, I found some other wild life. In the bedroom. Above the front door. In the hallway. Not tarantulas. They were of a more athletic type. Skinny and fast. Agile, almost.

After some googling I think I have narrowed them down to the ‘Mediterranean Recluse Spider’. These are even nastier suckers, because it seems they actually enjoy living with humans, and will crawl into beds, and between folded clothes in your closets. Check out these bite marks I googled! This is no laughing matter.

Some tips I picked up do not really make you feel any better.

Read this:
Bites often occur when spiders are trapped in clothing or bedding. Therefore, shake out clothing and shoes before getting dressed. Inspect bedding and towels before use. Remove bed skirts and storage boxes from underneath beds. Move the bed away from the wall. (Source)

Hubbie wants to spend the summer in the mountain house. I don’t think so. I don’t really need this. Is a person ever going to get a break in this place? I’m telling you; I’m ‘pifpaffing’ this house from top to bottom, and then some more.